The blond newscaster was way too perky for me to handle this early in the morning. If I didn’t get coffee soon, I’d find out firsthand if perkiness prior to percolation qualified for justifiable homicide.
“This just in; Dayton police have this morning discovered a dead wolf in McGregor Park this morning. The wolf’s stomach appears to have been cut open and seven heavy paving stones were placed inside, likely prior to death. Dayton police are teaming up with the Montgomery County Animal Resource Center to investigate. Both agencies are asking viewers with information to please call 1-800-CRIMESTOPPERS to share information about the wolf, its owners, or possible suspects in the case. In other news…”
The coffeepot finally finished brewing. Thank God. It must have been the lack of caffeine; the newscaster couldn’t actually be talking about something that strange.