Work or Something Like It

The Pantyhose Conspiracy

/ addiejking / 2 Comments

I should have bought stock in pantyhose years ago, or at least bought as many pairs of the good kind as I could afford back when they were sturdier than they are now.

 In my job, I wear suits on an almost daily basis. There are many days that I cannot wear pantsuits. (Don’t ask; just know that I’m not allowed.) This means that I go through a lot of pantyhose. And yes, I do mean literally “go through” pantyhose: I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve gotten runs in them right when I don’t have the time to do anything about it, or when I’m in a hurry.

 I’ve tried using lingerie bags in the washing machine. I’ve tried washing them by hand. It really doesn’t matter; they always run. And they always run exactly two days before payday when you don’t have time to get to the store and are down to your last pair. And then you put on the emergency pair that you keep in the back of your desk drawer only to put your hand through the knee on a day that is already spiraling downhill in a hurry.

 I’m beginning to believe that Someone invented pantyhose, like high heels, just to get a good laugh at all of us crazy women who are trying to be “fashionable”. Or they’re getting a good laugh at all of us wrapping our legs in nylon sausage casing before we show them off. Have you ever watched a woman put on pantyhose? We look like absolute fools when we go through all of those gyrations.

 Can you tell I’m having issues today?

Facebook Shenanigans

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Okay, folks, it’s been all over the news in the last week that criminals are starting to watch the social networking sites to find out when you’re gone so that they can rob your house. I even saw a story online that a British website was warning people that their homeowners insurance could go up if they were careless about updating their status and wereabouts. The thought behind that would be that the social networking updates are putting them at bigger risk for home invasion and crime. There’s even been some press about specific sites that are tracking this, to bring attention to the problem. So are criminals really smart enough to target specific houses and watch them to find out the prime moment to strike?

To which I say….DUH!! Of course they are!  It doesn’t really take a lot of brains to follow a Twitter feed. And if they haven’t thought of it already…they certainly have, now that it’s been all over the news media!

When you put yourself out there on the web, you’re taking a risk. I know, I’m taking one too. But, here’s the thing…I am trying to be careful as to what I post online. I’ve alway been careful about what I post online, because of my job. I’ve had a few moments with my job that weirded me out a bit. And no, I’m not going into detail about what they were…other than to say that it was another reminder that I do have to be careful about what I say and what I do in public, for safety reasons.

But just because I have a job that gives me a reason to be cautious, doesn’t mean that other people with different jobs shouldn’t worry about it. Everyone’s got loved ones and/or kids, or pets that are precious to us (some are even worth serious money). We’ve got family heirlooms and possessions which might not be worth a lot on the resale market, but they’re OURS and we don’t want people to take them, destroy them, or damage them.

So here’s a bit of advice for everyone. If you’re going out of town, don’t post it, especially if your house will be empty while you’re gone. Don’t tell everyone you just went out for a hamburger…let us know how good it was when you get home. Be careful identifying ways for criminals to target you online. It’s about common sense. If there’s something you want to communicate with someone that involves that kind of information, it’s why God invented the private message. And email. And the phone. Or, and this is just a stretch, a simple letter in the mail. I don’t really need to know when you’re visiting Aunt Mabel back home while you’re there…let me know how she’s doing after you get back. Same goes for the sushi run, or the trip to the gym. Unless we have plans to meet…which we’ve likely already worked out ahead of time…I don’t need to know where you’re at rightthissecond.

I’m going to do the same. I’m still making travel plans for conferences and vacations. I’m still lining up house sitters and cat sitters and mail picker uppers for those trips for the 2010 calendar year. I am not planning to post much about where I’m at while I’m there. And if I do inadvertently post about something that lets you know that I’m out of town, let me put the following information out there.

1) Only three people have keys to my house. I’m not telling you who they are. Chances are good that if I’m out of town one of them is staying at my house while I’m gone. The cat does better at my house than being boarded by a kennel, so it’s easier to get someone to just stay at my house. Therefore, just because I’m not home doesn’t mean my house is empty.

2) I have great neighbors. They know exactly who has keys to my house. I generally tell them what’s going on so that they know who to expect to be coming and going into the house. They do not have a key. They do know my family, and know where I work, and how to contact my folks, my office, or me if something happens. And they really do watch like hawks. I’m blessed to have them. God bless great neighbors.

3) If you get into the house despite the fact that it probably isn’t empty, and past the neighbors despite how closely they watch, please keep in mind that I am the proud owner of GuardCat. While that’s not the same as a guard dog, she’s sly. She’ll trip you when you’re not looking. Wouldn’t that suck while you’re carrying an armload of stuff out of my house? Just saying.

To that end, I’m sad about the idea that I won’t be posting which conferences I will be attending. I will post my impressions of them when I return. The same goes for my vacations and personal trips.

It’s time for everyone to think about what they post before they post it. It’s just not safe to assume that no one’s going to take advantage of what we make public about our lives.

NaNoWriMo Update

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I’m not going to make the 50K by November 30.

There’s lots of reasons. It boils down to this…

1) I’m not under a contract by which I get money to finish my novel on time. I am, however, on payroll for my day job. I have three briefs to write. That comes first. The novel will just have to wait until I get there. We’ve been shorthanded, I’ve been in court a lot, and they’re not done yet. They come first. If I was under a paying contract for my novel, you can bet your sweet patootie that I’d be burning the midnight oil to get it done. It’s not. For reasons you’ll see, I’m trying not to wear myself completely out.

2) I’m just coming out the other side of a horrendous bout of bronchitis. I had it a couple of months ago, and I don’t think I ever really kicked it. I actually lost my voice at one point last week, which means I can’t work. Not many lawyers can get stuff done if they can’t go to court, can’t interview witnesses and can’t talk on the phone. It’s also hard to talk to the staff and the co-workers, advise law enforcement, and otherwise function. I also kept getting really dizzy. Which means, I am still behind on my day to day work stuff.

3) Add those two factors together with the fact that I’ve got more on my plate than I have had during the past three Novembers with the new house, the lack of a roommate with which to beg, borrow, and barter household tasks with, family obligations, and other craziness, and my life has gone boom.

I’m still writing. I refuse to stress myself out with everything else going on. My hope is still to have most of the first draft of GRIMM written by February. I’m hoping that I’ll be somewhere near 30K by the end of November. For me, with how this month has unfolded, that’s about as good as it’s going to get.

On the other hand, if someone miraculously popped up with a publishing contract to pay me to write to thing RIGHTNOW, I’d stay up late and drink lots of caffeine to get there. Right now, however, I’m thinking that it would be a better idea to go to bed early, drink lots of water, and stress less going into the holidays.

Hope everyone else out there is having a much better NaNo. Have a great Thanksgiving!

On an unrelated note…still having an itchy cat problem. Anyone got ideas for an overgrooming kitty?

The Best Laid Plans…

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And it’s definitely a NaNo month…and that means that procrastination is rife in the air.

I fully meant to come home tonight and do some yardwork, throw in some laundry, and then sit down to get another couple thousand words written.

Of course, very little of that actually happened.

I thought I’d actually leave “on time”. “On time” would be the time the courthouse closes as opposed to the time I normally leave, which is something like an hour or two after that. Of course, that didn’t happen, since I needed to talk to a co-worker who was hung up in court. And still ended up with a work related phone call a moment or two after getting home. This isn’t unusual; I was just hoping I’d avoid it tonight.

I got in the car and got a phone call from Mom, who invited me out to dinner. My first thoughts were “well, there goes the yard work,” (which wasn’t a depressed thought at all…I hate mowing the yard) and “I need to eat, and that way I get to spend some time with Mom and Grandma. Yay for me!”

Dinner was good, and I enjoyed spending time with them, as usual. They helped me out a bit by pointing out things in the yard that I need to get done (because I really really do have a black thumb, and I don’t have a CLUE what to do with flowers and stuff. That’s the part of homeownership that I’m really clueless about.) And it was good. Dinner took longer than expected, but I’m really glad I went.

I finished putting away the Halloween decorations, and hung the wreaths that Mom gave me on the front doors. I fed the cat, loaded the dishwasher, and unloaded some stuff from the car from the kick-off party last night. (I was so tired when I pulled in last night that I grabbed all things that needed to come in the house and crashed, figuring I’d unload it later. The Urbana to Dayton haul is going to get old quick.)

My brother called on his drive home from work and wanted to talk. Hard to tell him no, since I haven’t talked to him much lately.

I changed my clothes and started a load of laundry. At this point, I figured that I might actually finish laundry before it was time to start it all over again.

And then I finally booted up the computer. And I’m here instead of writing. Thank goodness I’m ahead on word count.

It’s definitely November again, and now I REALLY have to go write. Hope all of you are getting better word count than I am.

And We’re Off!

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I’m at a write-in at the moment, and have gotten 3400+ words towards my goal, putting me over 10K for the first draft of THE GRIMM LEGACY. The Kick Off event for the Dayton Area NaNoWriMo group is off to a strong start….several people out there are hitting it hard, typing like fiends, eating a lot of junk food (and normal food…we did try to make sure that everyone would have something somewhat nutritious to get us through the day), and giving away lots of door prizes and raffle prizes. We’ve made T-shirts for our own local group and taking donations from our participants to help with the costs of running the local events. Any and all profits above our costs will be donated to the official organization on behalf of the Dayton group! Woohoo! Words and raising money for a noble organization WAHOO!!

Anywho, life’s ramping up in a hurry around here. As usual, November means that the normal life crazy becomes life insanity. I’ve been stockpiling take out coupons, because I think we’re going to need them down the road. Everyone out there noveling remember this…a load of laundry will buzz about every 45 min to an hour…that’s prime writing time with a built in break! And clean socks to get you through the month!

And good thing to get us off and rolling in a hurry…I’ve got lots of cases going to trial this month in juvenile court, grand jury coming, and the holidays looming, as well as flowerbeds needing some work before winter, some winterizing being done to the house that needs done, and some other things on my plate as well.I’ve got a guest blog I’m still writing (will post where to find it when it’s ready) and working on both my NaNo project and a short story.

If you’re writing NaNo….keep your Butt In Chair, Hands On Keyboard. If you’re not writing NaNo…say a prayer, light a candle and wish us luck. We may need it!

Oh Noes, it’s NaNo!

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Well, yet another NaNoWriMo is threatening to shut down the family and home lives of many this year!

This will be my fourth year of participating. It will be on my fourth novel. Technically it’s not a true NaNo book, since I’ve already written into the fourth chapter, but I’ll be trying to get 50K new words written on it before December starts. That’s right…my already written and revised stuff will not count toward my word count for NaNo purposes.

Last year I was a Municipal Liasion, and would have done so again this year if life hadn’t reached up and grabbed me by the ankle. Between the move, the new job, the house, the sick cat, and actually starting to have a social life outside of gaming, writing, or the internet (yes, that means I am dating someone), there’s just no way that I can pull off as much as I have in the past. It’s still going to be a challenge. Why is that?

November is a month for take out. It’s a month for cramming as many dishes into the dishwasher, and for the speed-mowing that is “good-enough”. I try to have my Christmas cards written out before November even starts so that I don’t have to hurry before Christmas when the brain is whimpering from the decorating, the shopping, the social events, and recovering from NaNo. It’s also a good time-killer and distractor when you’re itching to get cracking on your NaNo novel, and you can’t get word count toward your goal because November hasn’t started yet.

I recommend to all first time NaNo participants out there the following:

1) Stock up on junk food and caffeine. Chocolate really can help you through the writer’s block. And it generally takes little to no cooking time.

2) Have a community you can commiserate with. Whether it’s your local NaNo group, your own writer’s community, the NaNo forums, or your understanding and about-to-be-put-upon family. You’ll need it.

3) Warn your friends, family and co-workers that you are about to lose your mind for about 30 days. It will come back.

If you are in charge of food prep for your family, put someone else in charge or start freezing some casseroles ahead of time. Putting the pizza delivery place on speed dial and teaching your kids/spouse/roommate/significant other/cat or dog/gremlin to pick up after themselves for thirty days will also help. Promising them thanks in the acknowledgements page if you ever get the thing published is not enough, but it is a good start. Reminding them that they will have your attention all through Christmas, and undistracted by rampant plot genies may motivate them. If nothing else, make Halloween very cool for them, and promise a pretty awesome Christmas (This does NOT mean spend a lot of money, by the way).

Last year, I did a lot of muttering about having a Ding Dong problem. (Yes, I do mean those Hostess cakes. If you thought I meant something else, you have a sick and dirty mind.) It was a plot problem in a story. Warning people ahead of time that random mutterings may be due to your writing may fend off any attempts to place you in a rubber room. So in that sense, it is self-defense.

4) I did say warn your co-workers. I meant it. That also means, no writing during work hours, unless on your break or at lunch unless your boss has told you that it’s okay. That’s pretty rare. It also goes without saying not to print off your novel at work unless you get approval. Please do not risk your employment in an economy like this. It’s too hard to get a new job, and especially will be harder as the holidays descend.

5) Chris Baty and the guys and gals at the Office of Letters and Light will tell you that it is possible to write a novel in 30 days without having any idea about plot before you start. I can’t do that. If you’re like me, start gathering up your planning materials and be organized for the first day’s rush. Your organization will crumble before it’s all over, but at least start out knowing where all your outlines and ideas are headed. And where they’re filed.

6) Get ahead in word count early and often if possible. To stay on track to finish, you must write 1667 words per day to finish on time. Every day you don’t write puts you 1667 words behind. For me, if the story’s really cooking, I can get over 1000 words in an hour. That means 2-3 hours per day to get ahead and stay ahead. I take longer amounts of time on weekends, so that I can take days off during the week and stay sane. If I average 12,500 words per week, I can still make it. I’ve had the 10K word Saturday. My brain is mush when this happens, and it doesn’t always happen, so I can’t count on it.

This year the first day is on a Sunday, which means that most people will not be working. Take advantage of it and get a couple days ahead. That doesn’t mean that you get to slack off on Monday. Save up that surplus for the day that your dog needs an emergency run to the vet or you end up with a kid with H1N1 at home, or you have to spend time cooking Thanksgiving dinner when you didn’t expect to. I guess what I’m saying is…have a pad of word count in case of emergency. That way you can’t fall too far behind unless something absolutely catastrophic happens.

7) Remember that the world will not end if you do not get to 50K. I’ve had a year that I didn’t get there. Between getting sick, falling down Mom and Dad’s stairs at Thanksgiving and hurting my back, and a plot that was just not cooperating, I wasn’t able to pull it off, but I was behind when these things happened. I had to suck it up and realize that the inability to sit at the computer for more than a few minutes at a time meant that I just couldn’t do it. I got over 30K. For me, that year, that was still an accomplishment. And I came back stronger than ever with another novel hitting 50K with time to spare the next year.

8.) Understand that the holiday weight gain begins early for you, with all the caffeine and junk you will end up ingesting to stay sane. Get ahead on word count, and go work out. Write for an hour and then go for a walk. Be sure to exercise more muscles than just your brain, or you will no longer fit in your favorite reindeer sweatervest for the holidays.

9) Really really clean and get all household chores done early. That way you can let it go a bit during the month of November. It’s okay not to vacuum every day. It’s okay if the kids eat McDonalds. It’s okay if you don’t dust every week. It’s just for November. Be prepared to catch up at the beginnining of December for the holidays, but don’t obsess about it in November unless you are hosting Thanksgiving. And if you are, you are crazy on a level that I can’t match. Time to go negotiate the hosting of Christmas instead, if you can.

10) Enjoy. This is writing at its most pure, its most fun, and its most addictive level possible. Everything is shiny and new. It’s easy to believe that you are writing a masterpiece. Believe it. Live it. Give that internal editor a swift kick in the pants and tell them that they are banished until December.

Understand that when NaNo is over and your novel is written, it is not completed. You will have many many hours of editing, critiquing, workshopping, shaping, chopping, deleting and angsting yet to come. You WILL NOT be sending it out in December; you won’t have time with the catching up on family stuff, housecleaning, reminding loved ones that they are loved and the holidays. You will likely not be sending it out in January. That will be when you can edit. And that will take longer than you think. That is when you’ll realize that November’s gold really isn’t. But enough about that. I’ll post about that later.

For now…enjoy the anticipation. And Dayton NaNoers…I’m with you. Let’s drive up that word count!