Over the last couple of years, we have done quite a bit of traveling with the kids…between vacations and soccer tournaments, wrestling meets, and conventions. Here are the things we have learned. (I actually meant to post this several months ago, but it still holds true).

1) Cabbage anything for the teenager? Not a good idea two days before a long road trip. Unless we pack clothespins for the noses, or are prepared to keep the windows down quite a bit.

2) The toddler will hide goldfish crackers in her crotch, so that we don’t know she has them. And will cry for food…only to find a pound of crushed goldfish crackers between her legs when taking her out of the car seat. Apparently she hoards them.

3) Watching Jaws with the teenager? No problem. Right before a beach vacation? Not so much.

4) If the teenager has gas, the toddler thinks it’s funny.  And she will make fart noises with her mouth to make it worse. And her brother? Well, he’ll keep doing it to make her laugh. It’s smelly and funny at the same time.

5) If you did not pack extra pants, the toddler will pee on you.

6) Swim diapers don’t hold much.

7) Seawater is a great sinus rinse.

8) Anything tastes better to the toddler with ketchup or cocktail sauce. And woe to the person who forgets a sippy cup. Cause that won’t stop her from being thirsty and wanting your drink. And pouring it all over you.

9) The teenager definitely enjoyed watching people at the beach. We enjoyed watching him trying not to show us how much he was enjoying watching people on the beach.

10) It doesn’t matter how much money you spend, or how much effort you put in. The memories will not be the planning; they will be the off the wall things you could never have predicted.