Ain’t it pretty?
So someone repeated a statement to me today that’s got me a little perturbed. I’m not upset at the person who repeated it; I’m a bit frustrated that it was said at all. And my heart breaks a little that anyone thinks that way; this should be something that individual families decide for themselves.
I go back to work tomorrow, having been on maternity leave since my daughter was born in January.
Today the statement was repeated to me, “I thought Addie wanted that baby so badly, I’m surprised she’s going back to work.”
Cue the Donald Duck-style temper explosion in my head.
I made a comment about us needing my salary (we do), but there’s way more to it than that.
I’m the daughter of a working mom. My mother taught elementary school for thirty years. I can remember helping her set up her classroom and grade papers as I got older. I remember being proud of her when former students came up and told her how much they loved being in her class. I have many friends who have gone back to work after having kids.
I’m also friends with several stay at home moms. I know for a fact that they don’t sit around all day eating bon bons and watching Dr. Phil reruns. I didn’t on my maternity leave. Caring for small kids full time is a job and a half. I’m grateful to the stay at home mom who is going to be caring for my kid in her home while I work.
None of the working moms I know wanted their kids any less than the moms who were able and wanted to stay home.
I have enjoyed every minute of every day that I was home with The Girl. I’ve watched her grow from newborn to a nearly two month old baby while I was off. No matter the number of diaper blowouts, snot sucker drama, colic, reflux, getting peed on, getting pooped on, her spitting up while being burped, being an overstimulated baby refusing to nap, or any of the other more gory parts of new parenthood, I wouldn’t trade a moment of it. I’m glad that I was able to take a maternity leave with pay so that I could be home to experience all of it. I wish all moms could have that luxury.
I think all moms out there want to set an example for their kids. And we pick and choose what traits we model for them.
- I want my daughter to know that she can have a career that fulfills her and still be a mom; and that sometimes having a fulfilling career can make you a better mom.
- I want my daughter to know caregivers other than mom, even though that breaks my heart a little. I want her to learn that there are loving people in this world that are outside of our home.
- I want my daughter to know how good of a father she has because of how much he supports her mother in chasing her dreams; which would not be possible if I stayed home full time (we couldn’t afford some of the extra expenses I’ve incurred chasing this writing thing).
- I want my daughter to know that she has value over and above being a mom; that she can contribute to the world more than just what she can give birth to.
And yes, we do need my salary. If I stayed home, I’d still have a mortgage and student loans and other bills to pay. And I have a stepson that will be in college in just four or five years. There’s no way we can afford to have me stay home.
Even if the money was there, I would still go back to work, because I need to, emotionally, intellectually, and physically. I’m not cut out to be a stay at home mom; I tip my hat respectfully to those who pull off that job. It’s one of the hardest jobs there is.
That’s not to denigrate stay at home moms. These are the things I’ve chosen to model for my kid. Others choose differently, based on their family and their circumstances. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Some of it is based on the individual moms and their desires, sometimes it’s based on the needs of their families.
BUT THAT CHOICE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HOW MUCH YOU WANT OR DON’T WANT YOUR KIDS!
I’ve seen moms with unexpected pregnancies who stayed home with the kids and loved every minute of it. I’ve seen moms with planned pregnancies who couldn’t handle a Mommy and Me sing a long without losing their minds, and Pinterest gave them hives.
Yes, I wanted The Girl with every breath of my being, and well, I’m so grateful to have her. But don’t feel bad for me working, or think I wanted her less just because I go back to work in the morning.
(Though leaving her tomorrow will probably still be one of the hardest things I ever do, so do have a kind thought for me in the morning, why don’tcha?)
How much time does it take you to write a book?
I get this question on a regular basis, and it’s not always easy to answer.
A novel of mine generally runs somewhere around 90,000 words.
I can comfortably write 2000 words a day while working the day job, the part time job, and keeping up with the kids. If I’m working, I can get 1000 of that on my lunch hour from time to time. If I’m chasing a deadline, I’ve done as much as 3000-10000 per day, depending on the day and how the story is cooking.
But this assumes you’re talking about the rough draft. I can have an entire rough draft done in 30 days if I really push myself; I’ve done it before. That doesn’t mean it’s polished and ready to turn in, and my brain is truly mush at the end of that time. Which means, of course, that no writing will happen for a couple of weeks after that, because the brain cells need time to recharge. And, if I’ve been pushing that hard, I’ve been spending evenings typing instead of paying attention to the family, and it’s their turn for my attention.
I try not to schedule myself to turn in more than a single novel and a couple of short stories in a year. If I get more than that done, it’s gravy.
But remember, too, that I can’t always write on a daily basis. If The Boy has a soccer game that’s an hour drive away in the evening, I can’t write that night, because we won’t get home until late and will still need to feed everyone. If I have work from my part time job, that has a deadline, that takes precedence. Obviously holidays don’t work, either, and we do have a house with constant, ongoing renovation going on, so work needs done on that, as well.
The short answer? I can write a novel in a month. If it’s to be a good novel, I need a bit longer than that, and that timeline can vary if real life jumps up and bites me.
Okay, so most of you know that I had a baby in January. I go back to work for the day job here in a couple of weeks, and I’ve been struggling to schedule author events and balance the day job, the part time job, The Boy’s activities and keeping in mind a baby (who will be known here as The Girl) who is still technically a newborn.
The Girl, contemplating another nap…
So I will say that I’m not scheduling much in the way of travel this year, and what is scheduled will likely not be terribly far from home, and will likely not start happening until June or so.
So far, I’m planning the following…
Origins Columbus, Ohio June 15-19, 2016
Art Affair on The Square Urbana, Ohio July 16, 2016
Art on the Beach Indian Lake, Ohio August 6-7, 2016
World Fantasy Columbus, Ohio October 27-30, 2016
There are more on my list that might get added, but these are the ones I’ve committed to so far. I may (or may not) have The Girl with me; the Husband and The Boy may make appearances as well, as we do tend to combine writing events with family events when possible.
I may also be planning a couple of giveaways in the next year, so stay tuned for more information.
As for the writing?
Are you a fan of Bert, Janie, Aiden, Mia, Jonah and the rest? Book Five is headed for the publisher soon, wrapping up the series.
I will be diving into two projects when that is complete, the sequel to Shades of Gray and Girl versus Demon; Demon Deadly Sins. Both have been on the back burner for a while, and will be headed toward the front burner for completion this year.
I do have a short story coming out in the Origins conference anthology entitled “The Stupidest Robot”. It’s really cute, and I hope you check it out!
So, I’ve been on a bit of a blogging hiatus lately while real world and real life stuff has been taking over. If you follow me on Facebook, you know that I’ve given birth to a daughter, Olivia, and am home on maternity leave. I’m learning how to blog and type with a highly cranky infant glued to my chest (and I don’t mean just to eat, but wanting Mommy All.The.Time.)
While I’m getting settled into the new reality of learning to be productive and a good mom (or at least a mom that gets some of it done and some of it right some of the time), I’ve got an interesting post for you from my friend, Terry Ervin.
Terry and I live in the same area of West Central Ohio, just a few miles (about fifteen) apart, and we both enjoy science fiction and fantasy. In fact, we end up talking at different local book events all of the time about the genre, about publishing, and about a whole lot of other things. It was interesting to see his take on this topic, one we’ve discussed before. Also, Terry’s got a new book out there, so go check it out and see what he’s up to. Here’s Terry…
Fantasy and Science Fiction: Good for Movies but Not So Much for Books?
What got me thinking about this topic? Talking to teen readers I’ve met at libraries, book festivals and similar events.
It started a while back with conversations similar to this:
Me: “Do you like fantasy?”
Teen: Shrugs. “I liked the Lord of the Rings movies. Did you see them?”
Me: “Yes, They were pretty neat.” Smiling, I continue. “I’m an author, so I have to ask, did you read the trilogy?”
Teen: With a shake of the head, frowns. “I tried reading the first book. I couldn’t get into it. I don’t like reading fantasy.”
To tell the truth, I’ve read the Lord of the Rings trilogy. There were parts that were difficult to get through. They were written for another time, possibly a different audience.
The conversation continues:
Me: “What do you think of science fiction?”
Teen: A small grin. “I like Battlestar Galactica.”
Me: “The new one, right? Not the one from the 70s.”
Teen: “Yeah, but I don’t like reading science fiction either.”
Me: “Maybe fantasy and science fiction aren’t for you. Or maybe you’ve tried the wrong books?”
Sure, fantasy has elves and orcs, dragons and wizards. But fantasy also has vampires and fairies…and superheroes and ghosts, and more. My novels? They have earth wizards battling panzers, and Stukas engaged in aerial combat with fire breathing dragons. (Yes, I’m sort of a World War II history buff)
Science fiction? It’s as varied as fantasy, if not more. It has space ships and wormholes, aliens and androids, time travel and pandemic viral diseases, dinosaurs and, well, the sky…or the rim of the galaxy is the limit. My SF novels? They have brass knuckles and shotguns mixed with magnetic pulse pistols and taskforce sized space battles, and alien species like the Umbelgarri, Chicher, Crax and V’gun.
Are you interested in reading but not sure about Fantasy and SF? Like any other novel, they can have humor and romance, mystery and revenge, horror, hate and redemption, heroines, heroes and villains, average guys and gals, treachery and…well, you name it, even talking frog princes. (aside from Addie…yes, they can! wink, wink).
My first serious dip into SF was in grade school and Jr. High, where I read “A Pail of Air” by Fritz Leiber and “A Sound of Thunder” by Ray Bradbury. Through them my mind began asking questions, about the survival of humanity, and the consequences of traveling back in time.
Then, I read The Sword of Shannara by Terry Brooks. Some might say it’s sort of like ‘Lord of the Rings light.’ That opened the door to Lord Foul’s Bane and the rest of the Thomas Covenant, the Unbeliever books by Stephen R. Donaldson.
Those titles just rang for me. Does that mean they’re right for you? Maybe. And maybe not. Just like The Lord of the Rings trilogy…they’re good books, ones that have withstood the test of time, but aren’t for everyone.
Teen: Holds up a copy of Flank Hawk. “So what movie is this book like?”
Me: “It’s like Lord of the Rings meets Gettysburg, meets Saving Private Ryan.”
Teen: Points to a copy of Relic Tech. “And this one?”
Me: “Babylon 5 meets Starship Troopers, meets The Rockford Files.” I smile. “You might have to look a few of those shows up. They’re good…almost as good as my novel.”
My advice? Don’t automatically turn away from fantasy and science fiction. Take a look at the cover, and read the back of the book, and maybe a few pages. Look up reviews if you’re so inclined. With the vast variety of stories fantasy and SF encompass, there’s certain to be something in there for you, something to challenge you…capture your imagination like nothing ever has before.
Terry W. Ervin II is an English and science teacher who enjoys writing fantasy and science fiction. His First Civilization’s Legacy Series (fantasy) includes Flank Hawk, Blood Sword, and Soul Forge.
The Crax War Chronicles, his science fiction series, includes Relic Tech and Relic Hunted (his most recent release from Gryphonwood Press).
In addition to writing novels, Terry’s short stories have appeared in over a dozen anthologies, magazines and ezines. Genre Shotgun is a collection containing all of his previously published short stories.
Is going on this weekend!
I’m in Artist Alley with my friend Tracy Chowdhury, and we’re selling and signing books and meeting all kinds of fun people.
If you’re out here, stop by our booth and say hi!
SO very looking forward to going back to Origins this year! I love going to this convention, and can’t wait to see what all is coming out new…what all is going on in the gaming world and meeting new readers and old…as well as writer friends!
My schedule is as follows;
THURSDAY JUNE 4
10 am Time Management and the Author
12 pm A Writer’s Group is not Just a Group of Writers
1 pm More than Black Hats; Creating a Villain
6 pm Story Hour (reading)
FRIDAY JUNE 5
1 pm Writing from a Feminist Perspective
SATURDAY JUNE 6
12 pm Learning to Tell Stories through RPGs
1 pm Social Media 101
4 pm Flash Fiction
SUNDAY JUNE 7
10 am Researching Your Story
11 am (Upgraded Game Play) Wordariffic!
1 pm Humor in Fiction
ALSO…there’s going to be a pretty darn cool giveaway in the Library for all who buy books from our authors…stop by and check it out in the Dealer’s Hall.
When I’m not on a panel or playing a game, I’m likely to be at a table in the Dealer’s Hall, selling books and talking to writers and readers. If the Dealer’s Hall is closed, I’m probably in a game or stuffing my face at North Market…Don’t be shy…come say hi!
Someone on a writing forum I’m a member of asked about how to go to conferences when you don’t have much money.
I’m a BIG proponent of conferences, writers groups, and workshops. I think you should definitely go if you’re at all serious about writing.
Okay, look, I’m a small press author, and I go to a TON of conferences, book fairs, art events, comic cons and workshops. I think I did eleven last year, and I’ll do twelve this year. I have TONS of expenses for going, but I also sell more print books when I’m there in person than I would by just having them sit on a shelf (partly because my contract with my former publisher did not involve distribution of print books). AND I’m definitely one to see how much I can do for as little as possible.
BUT my reason for going is WAY different than a beginning writer.
I go to network. I go to promote my stuff. There are some cons I go to for the sheer number of attendees, I get a booth, and try to sell stuff. That’s more and more lately, as there seem to be fewer and fewer actual bookstores in my geographical area than ever before.
A beginning writer should to go to a conference to learn about the industry, to learn about writing, to learn about genre, and to learn about submissions and self-pub and all the ins and outs that get talked about. They need to start learning and networking and all those other crazy and incredible things.
Networking has done more for me than straight slush pile submissions, but that’s because I network A LOT. It’s gotten me leads, friends, connections, and all kinds of wonderful fun memories, as well as a network of writers and editors and artists that I can contact for questions.
I’m also a government employee, so I’m not getting rich anytime soon, regardless of so many people (including several governors, but that’s another rant for another day) seem to believe. I also do some part time work, in part to cover my travel expenses, in part to pay down my student loans faster, and in part to do extra work on my house. That’s not a solution for everyone. One writer friend of mine has suggested doing the 52 week challenge to save money for conferences. It’s a great idea.
So how do you attend a conference on a budget?
Depending on where you live, there might be a local conference or workshop within reasonable driving distance and you might save yourself a hotel fee. If a convention is within an hour’s drive, a lot of times, I will drive back and forth to save myself the money in a hotel. I can then eat breakfast at home, see my guys, pack a sandwich for lunch if I want, and take my own water bottle to keep from buying water at a hotel. If there isn’t one within a reasonable driving distance, look and see if there’s one within a reasonable driving distance of a friend or relative’s house.
I live 45 minutes from Dayton, Ohio and 50 minutes from Columbus, Ohio. My brother and sister in law live in Cincinnati. Any of those three cities are ones that I can either stay at home or with my brother, and save hundreds. My only cost then is gas, parking, and food, unless there’s a badge cost, but a lot of times, I don’t have that cost because of the amount of work I do at a con.
Some conventions will allow you to earn a free or discounted badge if you volunteer some time helping with the logistics of the con. This could be anything from stuffing conference bags, to working the registration desk to running schedules and paperwork to picking up guests at the airport. It’s a great way to network, it’s a great way to see what goes on behind the scenes, and most of the time the staff of a conference are way overworked and pulled in four hundred million different directions by the time the conference actually starts.
As a published author, I volunteer to appear on panels; this is an easy way to get a comped badge at a local conference or convention, but that doesn’t work so well at the big ones unless you’ve got a great hook, a big name, or some reason why you would be a draw to the attendees. This is probably not an option for a beginner, unless it’s a fan run topic (like a popular television show) and you can somehow pitch yourself as knowledgeable enough to be an authority. Keep in mind that this normally also involves more than one panel. I’ve been known to do as many as ten in 48 hours, but I like doing them. I can hear the introverts shudder from across the interwebs.
Check and see if the conference you’re looking at has a con suite; sometimes it’s a great place to grab a sandwich, a bit of caffeine, and a place to sit down and take a break without feeling like you’ve got to buy something in a coffee shop or a bar. Not all conferences have them; when they do exist, they’re awesome.
Get a conference buddy to split costs.
If there’s nothing in your area (and if you’re in Ohio, I beg to differ on that one), then you might not be able to get out of hotel costs or travel costs. Then it’s about finding someone interested in joining you that you might be able to split your hotel costs and travel costs. Obviously you can’t split an airplane ticket, but if it’s within reasonable driving distance, splitting gas and parking costs is a great way to get there. Splitting hotel costs is another way to keep costs down. You might also be able to see if there’s a way to bring some of your food along as well, to have cheaper things on hand (peanut butter, granola bars, your own pack of Coke Zero, etc.).
I’ve got a friend of mine that I’m attending a couple of conferences with in order to keep costs manageable. We will split a hotel room at Origins in Columbus (despite being close enough to drive, because we enjoy it and want to stick around for some of the later activities). We’re going to Chicago later this year (6-8 hours drive, depending on where we leave from, her house or mine). We’ve split the table fee for putting our books out for sale. We’re splitting the hotel room. We’ll split up the gas, parking, and tolls. We’ll probably pack things to take to keep some costs down. Total cost will be still a bit pricey, but about 40% less than doing all of this by myself. And…since we’ve done cons together in the past and are good friends, we’ll have a great time.
- Ask friends and family to give you gas cards for your birthday and Christmas to defray driving costs for conferences.
- Ditto for gift cards for chain restaurants near where you’re going (if nothing else, makes a great gift to the person who might be letting you couch surf).
- Doing the $52 week savings challenge is a great idea to get yourself a nest egg and a budget.
- SET A BUDGET. Don’t blow your credit card for a great weekend. Budget for what you think you’ll spend…and give yourself a 10% cushion for “just in case”.
- Remember to take good notes and make it all worthwhile; going and then not writing anything down is kinda meaningless…
- DON’T forget your cell phone/charger/camera. You might meet some really cool people and want to share pictures.
· Finish THE BUNYAN BARTER. DONE
· Edit SHADES OF GRAY; In progress. I’m about 50 pages into this re-edit.
· Finish GIRL VERSUS DEMON: DEMON DEADLY SINS. Am at the 1/3 mark, and full speed ahead.
· Research THE PERRAULT VOW. Ideas are percolating! 😉 Research fun is started.
· SEKRIT PLAN #1 Still working on this.
· Blog at least once a week Okay, so I’ve totally fallen down on this one with life going crazy and the newest publishing hiccup. Will be trying to get back on this horse.
· Work out on a regular basis Does loading and unloading for a convention count? Haven’t done as much as I’d like; some of this is due to the bitter cold weather we’ve had here lately.
· Bathroom remodel Hubby and I are earmarking funds for the tub and shower surround; our goal is to have this bought in the next two or three weeks, so that we can actually start doing the work on all of this.
· Write at least two new short stories. Working on the ideas and doing research. And I might have had an incredibly awful idea for one…that is starting to scream at me to write it. Blame my Sister and Niece…they’ll know which one I mean…lol
· Plant some roses So not happening while the weather is like this!
· SEKRIT PLAN #2 On hold … waiting for both the bathroom remodel and Sekrit Plan #1 news to get started.
I will be at Cleveland Concoction March 13-15, 2015, which is being held at the Sheraton hotel at the Airport in Cleveland.
This is my panel schedule… (I think they rather took me seriously when I said to use and abuse me on panels. Good thing I really like doing them!) I do have one or two meetings in between all of this, but those details are still getting finalized.)
Friday 2 pm Publishing Standards Q&A
Friday 3 pm Twisted Fairy Tales
Friday 7 pm Autographing Session
Friday 10 pm Crafting Villains Readers Love to Hate
Saturday 1 pm There are No Saints in Fiction
Saturday 4 pm Writing for YA versus Adults
Saturday 9 pm Humor in Science Fiction and Fantasy
Saturday 10 pm The 10 volume Trilogy
Sunday 9:30 am Author’s Breakfast
Sunday noon Reading/Author Showcase
While I’m in Cleveland, I will be handing out promotional GOT FROG? Buttons, bookmarks, and other swag-a-licious stuff…and this sounds like a truly wonderful conference. I’m so looking forward to it! If you’re into books or writing or publishing at all, you should really considering attending.
ALSO stay tuned….publishing news coming soon with regard to THE GRIMM LEGACY series…but it’s not finalized yet, so I don’t want to start celebrating just yet.